Advocating for Another – August 2012 – Day 3 3

August 23 – Day 3: Challenge Accepted!

Parenting isn’t all sunshine and ice cream – it’s hard. Write a post that delves into 3 challenges that you face as a parent.

I thought my three challenges that I face as a parent were simple.  School, highs/lows and life out of the home.

In reality, every day is a challenge!

My biggest challenge as a mother, is that one day, I will be gone and my son will be all grown up and still have diabetes. (I am keeping my fingers crossed just like everyone else that there is a cure but let’s be real, this is right now.)  I worry all day.  I worry all night. I do not sleep well and I haven’t since his DX (diagnosis) and I worry about him every second that he is away from me and especially while he is at school.  Sadly, all my challenges and fears are centered around my son not taking care of himself and ultimately I fear losing him to this ‘disease’.  I am sorry for being a Negative Nancy for this post but I want to remain honest.

I can only hope he takes care of himself after I am gone and to be honest my biggest fear in life, perhaps my only, is that I will outlive my child.  The complications related to not handling your diabetes are all to real for me. My friend Kevin (***WARNING – MAY BE GRAPHIC FOR SOME*** featured here ) is the main reason.  I am not saying that you can’t grow old and live a happy life and manage your D properly but what if he doesn’t?! Or even worse, what if I am not here to make sure he does?! I know that we are all responsible for what happens as a direct result of how we take care of ourselves but it still scares the crap out of me.

My fear and challenge while he is at school is not picking up the phone at lunch time to call the school administrator to see what his BG was at. I also fear that he will have a low so bad that he goes into a coma and dies and I don’t have the chance to save him or say good-bye but guess what, I can’t help it.  I am so full of stress with this disease and I am only a D-Mom.  I can’t imagine what I would be like if I had D myself. Although, I would imagine if I grew up with it like Marcus is, I would be better with it. I can only imagine what people like Besties is going through.

Every day is a challenge with this disease.   Nothing is clear cut.  Nothing is ever the same two days in a row.  We can do the same thing every day and never have the same result. If the weather was exactly 25C and we played soccer for 45 minutes with a 5 min water break and then had a Popsicle and went for a bike ride for an hour and came home and watched television for an hour. Marcus could test after all of that and he could be low one day, normal the next and high the day after that. What gives?! It is more frustrating than challenging because the doctors warned us of this, but you know what?? Diabetes SUCK!! Trust me; I am not the only one who thinks so.  It is so unpredictable and scary and I wish no one had it. I wish there was no disease in this world. It just isn’t fair. No one deserves to live a life like this.

Sorry for being negative for this post but we are only 11 months and 5 days into this new normal, and to be honest, I want our old life back. I didn’t ask for this one and neither did my son. Does anyone know the code to the time machine; it seems to have locked me out. :(

I am participating in Advocating for Another Carnival – August 2012 at wegohealth


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